Of the 13 outfits stuffed into my little red Rimowa carry-on (plus gym and swimwear) a total of 6 saw the light of Cote d'Azure day. The rest stayed in my closet in our room at the Eden Roc, which ain't a bad place to hang, if you ask me.
My 1st outfit was featured heavily in Yes, We Cannes - Part I, so I won't bore you with the details here.
My 2nd outfit (which was meant to be an Allegra Hicks kaftan: column 1, down 2, if you're following my packing grid) was in fact a simple but elegant black strapless maxi dress worn over a zebra-striped bikini.
That's me, modelling a strapless black maxi-dress and a zebra-striped bikini. As you can probably tell, there was a rather brisk wind that day, so I'm also sporting a Crimson Cashmere poncho. The waiters thought we were mad for insisting to take lunch on the terrace. I wish they'd brought me gloves.
I had intended my 3rd outfit of the trip to be a new Sportmax dress (black with some kinky detailing at the neck) but was told that we'd be going somewhere very casual for dinner, so instead I opted for a denim dress, also Sportmax, that was originally reserved for the next night (see grid). Although I should have realised that 'casual' in Cannes meant Cavalli and Swarovski, the denim dress did the biz fine, worn with a pair of €30 leather espadrilles (lord love a bargain).
That's me in my denim dress and cheap'n'cheerful espadrilles, posing between our hosts' beautiful Brazilian model girlfriend and her French teacher (also Brazilian, if not as Amazonian) who, in person, was the spitting image of Selma Hayek. This photo was taken at the Hotel du Cap bar after our 'casual' dinner in town.
If you look just beneath the lampshade at centre left, you can make out a guy wearing a flatcap. That's Robert DeNiro. I wish I'd heard him talking Italian, but I didn't. I did, however, notice that he seemed to like martinis. A lot.
The next morning I slipped on outfit 4 - another maxi dress that seemed perfect for the setting. And oh, what a setting it was.
Gazing at one of the most beautiful views on earth under the glorious midday sun, I took the maxi dress off to reveal the black bikini pictured in my previous post.
Outfit 5 was actually outfit 13 - the last minute addition I'd made to the original 12 - which was an over-sized 3/4 sleeve metallic black v-neck sweater dress from Joseph. Thank gawd I brought it along, because I couldn't wear what I wanted that night (the aforementioned black Sportmax number with the S&M collar) or any of the other sleeveless or spaghetti-strapped dresses that I'd brought, thanks to that glorious midday sun and a mother-fucker of a sunburn that was as uneven as it was red.
Alas, no photos of me in outfit 5/13 exist of me from that night (at least none that I'm willing to share) but dinner at La Petite Maison was a blast.
Although the rest of us were pretty pissed-off, my sunburned skin was grateful that our last day in Cannes was chilly and overcast - perfect for visiting a friends' villa-cum-art-gallery near St Tropez in outfit 6, an easy-going little DVF dress.
I know what you're thinking: Don't I look sharp. (And she must have photoshopped her knees.)
Style File Followers Take Note:
1. Let me bore you with the details of outfit 1 here: Joseph top (circa 1997), Joseph black stretch trousers (circa 1995), Joseph Tuxedo Jacket (2009), Michael Kors flats; black Goyard shopper.
2. At what point do old clothes get upgraded to Vintage?
3. Pop Quiz! How much for bouillabaisse in a 'casual' restaurant in Cannes? €159. Per head. Speak to your bank manager, or cardiologist, before booking Tetou.
4. As for shoes, I brought 7 and wore 5.
5. I didn't misjudge my handbags after all: 2 Goyard shoppers (one black & one white) and a little black Dior clutch for night.
6. Our extremely generous host is a fun, warm and caring man who prefers to stay out of the limelight, so I won't mention his name but I will add a huge heartfelt thank you to the person who made this incredible journey possible. We got back from Cannes days ago but my feet haven't yet touched the ground. MERCI!